Eddie was driving down the road and a met a car coming the other way. Although there was room to pass easily, Eddie forced the oncoming car to slow down and wound down his window and shouted 'Pig'. The other driver looked in his rear view mirror and swore at Eddie. Then his car hit the pig.
Chuck's wife borrowed his car and parked in the supermarket car park. Just as she came out laden with shopping, she saw a young lad break into the car, hot wire it and drive off. Naturally she reported the matter to the police.' What did he look like?, the sergeant asked. 'I don't know she replied, but I got the licence plate'.
A traffic cop pulled alongside a speeding car on the motorway. Glancing into the car, he was astounded to see that the young lady, who was driving, was knitting.
Realising that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the policeman wound down his window, turned on his loudspeaker and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'
'NO', the young lady yelled back, 'IT's A SCARF!'
Eddie's wife, Edwina was driving her Chevrolet Vega home in New Mexico when she saw an elderly Apache woman walking along the side of the road. She stopped the car and asked the woman if she would like a lift?
With a silent nod, the woman climbed into the car. Edwina tried in vain to make conversation with the Apache woman.
The old Apache looked closely at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a red gift bag on the seat next to Edwina.
'What's in the bag?' asked the old woman.
'It's a bottle of whisky that I got for my husband.'
The Apache woman was silent for another minute or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said, 'Good trade.'
A man goes to a party and has too much to drink. His friends plead with him to let them take him home. He says no - he only lives a mile away.
About five blocks from the party the police pull him over for weaving all over the road, ask him to get out of the car and take the breathalyser test. Just as he is about to blow into the bag, the police radio informs the policemen of a robbery taking place in a house a short distance away.
The police tell the partygoer to remain where he is, they will be right back; and they run down the street to the robbery.
The guy waits and waits and finally decides to drive home. When he gets there, he tells his wife he is going to bed, and to tell anyone who might come looking for him that he has 'flu and has been in bed all day.They insist on seeing his car, so she takes them to the garage and opens the door where they find the police car, lights still flashing.
A few hours later the police knock on the door. They ask if Mr. X lives there and his wife says yes. They ask to see him and she replies that he is in bed with 'flu and has been there all day. However, the police have his driver's license. They ask to see his car, and she asks why. They insist on seeing his car, so she takes them to the garage and opens the door where they find the police car, lights still flashing.
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